Introductions and Misconceptions

There are a lot of misconceptions about sociopaths. When people hear that word, most of them think of a person like the fictional Hannibal Lecter: a bloodthirsty monster who kills and kills until he's either caught or dies himself. That is the image that sort of used to come to my mind, too.

Now, the image in my head is very different. Today, when I hear the word sociopath, I immediately am flooded with images of charisma, charming manipulation, a chasm of deceit, pain, tears, lies...but not murder. I'm also overwhelmed with images of the face of someone I once considered my best friend in the world.

That's another misconception: that sociopaths who are "con men" only target romantic interests. And while the majority of targets probably are romantic or sexual interests, they are definitely not the only targets. I know, because I was "just a friend" to "my" sociopath. But I can tell you this: I may not have shared marital assets with my sociopath, but he was still a tornado who rampaged my world, leaving only the very shell of a house standing in his wake.

I've learned that even if a sociopath isn't a killer in the literal sense, he actually kills all of the time. He manipulates, sucks life out of his targets, and then leaves them to realize what he was, emotionally, professionally, and/or financially devastated as he moves on to his next unfortunate victim. Sociopaths do not feel remorse; they do not have consciencea, though as you'll read over the next few blog posts, they are very good at mimicking emotions. The know the difference between right and wrong. They simply don't care.

I decided to write this blog, because when I began to learn what my sociopath was--we'll call him Clark--I scoured the net for information. I was like a desert plant guzzling at any droplet I could find. The tough part was, I couldn't find much information by targets, and especially not information from targets who were "just friends." (More on "just friends" later). I wanted others like me who are one day frantically googling "sociopath" hoping to come across something like this to be able to find this and know they aren't the only one.

So, in the coming days, I will tell you some of the things I've learned. I will tell you some of the things I should've recognized sooner so maybe you can recognize them should you ever come across someone like this. Sociopaths aren't all killers. Some of them are flatterers and "fun" people, because they will show you exactly what you need to see to get you "hooked" once you have been targeted. This is the mask they will wear while they lie to you, use you, and play games with you. They can look like your Sunday school teacher or your doctor...and they can look like your best friend.